EagleTribune.com, North Andover, MA


November 10, 2012

What makes referrals happen? Your actions, NOT your ask!

I’m angry about the (mis)information offered by “experts” about referrals.

I’m not angry that the majority of their information is totally off base and bogus, I’m angry you might believe it, take it to heart, try it, fail miserably, and lose both relationships and customers.

My anger centers around the word ASK. Some idiot, er, I mean expert, said you MUST ask in order to receive your fair share. He driveled on to state there’s a “Rule of 20-60-20.” He claims that 20% of your customers will always give you a referral, 60% will give you a referral only if you ask them, and 20% will never give you one.

Where on earth did that rule come from?

Pareto (the creator of the 1906 80-20 Principle that was later redefined by Joseph Moses Juran in 1941) is turning over in his grave at people who make up statistics with ZERO basis in fact.

Your boss will tell you, “As soon as you make a sale, ask for a referral.”

REALITY: There is no worse time to ask.

Or your boss will remind you, “Don’t forget to ask for referrals.”

This is just as ridiculous.

If you’re determined to ask, you better know WHEN to ask. Too early and you’re dead. At least let the relationship blossom. At least let your product or service begin to evolve into a favorable outcome.

General rules of asking for a referral: If it feels awkward, DON’T ASK. If you don’t have a solid relationship, DON’T ASK. If you ask for a referral and don’t get one, DON’T ASK AGAIN.

My rule of ask: Don’t ask. Earn.

There are 5.5 major consequences of asking for a referral:

1. You create unnecessary tension in your relationship.

2. You may not have done anything to earn one yet.

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