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Business

November 24, 2012

Letting them in on the secret

Dear Dave,

I’m in a very fortunate position when it comes to my finances. I’m 25, and I make $50,000 a year. I’m also completely debt-free. In your opinion, when is it appropriate to let someone you’re dating know about your financial situation?
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Wow, you are in a great position for someone so young. I’m not sure how you got there, but it certainly wasn’t by being dumb or immature.

I think it’s only natural in a dating situation to reveal more about oneself as time passes and the relationship gets deeper and more serious. In my mind, people who start throwing around financial information on a first date are either extremely superficial or just plain weird.

But after you’ve been dating a while, and definitely before you’re engaged, you should know everything about the other person. There should be complete disclosure in every area of your lives. That’s called intimacy. There’s no room for skeletons in the closet when it comes to a healthy relationship.

Just take your time and make sure you’re both committed to being open and honest about things. Then, as the relationship progresses, the depth of intimacy and the depth of information will progress in all areas of your lives.
—Dave

What's the worst that can happen?

Dear Dave,
My wife and I want to do a live-in/flip real estate purchase. The idea is to buy a fixer-upper and rent out the basement to help with the mortgage payments. What do you think about the idea?
Brian

Dear Brian,
I love real estate. I’ve flipped a few houses in my day too. But the particulars of the deal make me a little nervous.

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