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Lifestyle

March 9, 2014

‘The Longest Date' misses the mark when telling the story of a marriage

“The Longest Date: Life as a Wife” by Cindy Chupack

c.2014, Viking; $26.95; 212 pages

Your calendar looks like Swiss cheese.

Every week, nearly every entry, there are holes where there should be events. Blanks where fun should be penned in. Emptiness where there should be excitement.

Your six-year-old neighbor has a better social life than yours: she has play dates all the time. You haven’t dated in eons. But read “The Longest Date” by Cindy Chupack, and you’ll see that these things just take time.

Ever the romantic, Cindy Chupack says that, while single, she “slept only with men I believed I could marry.” She won’t – can’t - say how many men that was, but “[a]lcohol was often involved.”

Oh, sure, she’d been married before but it didn’t work out – mostly because, two years postnuptial, her then-husband realized “he might be gay.” Chupack was nonetheless hopeful for Happily Someday After, which is why it was nice to meet Ian.

Ian was cute and impulsive in a fun way; the kind of guy who stayed in touch with old girlfriends and was “definitely more of a bad boy than I had ever dated.” Chupack told herself not to fall for him. She knew his type. Ian wasn’t “that guy.”

But he was, and she made room for him in her “Fabulous Beach House,” though it irked her that Ian “would come with things” for which she also needed to make room. He came with far-fetched dreams, outrageous holiday rituals, and friends she’d have to spend time with, too.

Still, she married him, and came home from the honeymoon pregnant.

Realizing that she wanted children badly, Chupack was happy - until she miscarried her honeymoon baby and then lost another. Fearing that she was “too old” to get pregnant again, she and Ian tried nearly everything modern medicine had to offer (and some things it didn’t). They also fought, made up, got a dog, renewed their vows annually and learned to be marriage partners long before they’d ever need to learn to be parents.

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