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Lifestyle

October 20, 2013

Stallone and Schwarzenegger 'Escape' to their glory days

Stallone was always a better actor than Schwarzenegger. That burning question, for those old enough to have asked it and deluded enough to have never figured it out, is answered once and for all in “Escape Plan,” a vintage prison escape movie in the classic Sly and / or Arnold mold.

They’re both in it, both locked up and both looking for a way out of a super prison that has all the escape-proof conveniences that private enterprise can cook up. The old pros hit their marks, and each other. They spill some blood and have theirs spilled.

Sly takes a few beatings and hunts for that one epic brawl with a bad guy, a guard played by Vinnie Jones. Ah-nuld finally speaks his native German in a Hollywood film in long, deranged rant, and tracks down the biggest gun available.

A few one-liners and catch-phrases — “You hit like a vegetarian!” — and there you have it, Sly or Arnold in their heyday, in a nutshell.

Stallone plays Ray Breslin. “I break out of prisons for a living.”

He literally wrote the book on how security is compromised in maximum security prisons, and he co-owns a security company. He’s inserted into prisons which he then breaks out of so that he can then teach the feds how to make their prisons more escape-proof.

His new challenge is a super-secure “secret” prison set up for the C.I.A. and run by private contractors. It’s a place for terrorists and their ilk, people who need to disappear. Ray goes in, but his team (Amy Ryan, the rapper 50 Cent) have their safeguards in place.

Only they’re foiled. There’s no tracking Ray, no telling where he’s been taken to and no way of explaining who he is so that he can get out.

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