Dear Abby: I am a short, 5-foot-5-inch high school sophomore. I am small-boned and my voice is high-pitched. I'm terrible at sports, and physical education class is a nightmare. I have become friends with another guy, "Rick," who is much like me, and it helps to have someone who has similar problems.
Because Rick and I hang out together, some of the macho guys have started a rumor that we're gay, and now everyone in the school thinks it's true. Our PE teacher has even made comments to this effect, which compounds the problem.
Rick and I are shunned and have even been physically attacked because of this. We are not gay. We are just good friends who share common problems. We are interested in girls, but they aren't interested in us. When I try to say I'm not gay, they say, "Then who is your girlfriend?" When I tell them I don't have one, they laugh at me.
Rick and I are both "A" students. We keep telling ourselves that we will succeed where some of the macho guys who are obvious losers will not, and we'll have the last laugh. However, this is still a terrible situation for us, and we can't stand the thought of another two years like this. Please help.
Sophomore In Sacramento
Dear Sophomore: If you and your friend haven't already told your parents what's going on, do so immediately. Then you and your parents should pay a visit to the school principal to report that you have been attacked by other students and misidentified as gay not only by your peers, but also by a member of the staff.
It appears that both staff and student body in your school need to be educated about the fact that discrimination, assault and hate crimes are illegal. And if the harassment is not stopped immediately, your families should take this matter to a lawyer.
Dear Abby: I have an etiquette question my friends and I are wondering about. What is an appropriate response when you find out someone is expecting but she doesn't want to be? "Congratulations" doesn't seem right, but neither does, "You have my sympathy." I feel lost when this situation comes up. Do you have any ideas?
Melissa In Kansas
Dear Melissa: How about, "I heard the news. If there is anything you need, please let me know."
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
