EagleTribune.com, North Andover, MA

Breaking News

Lifestyle

February 17, 2013

Can somebody please kill these films?

Yes, today would be a good day for it to die.

“A Good Day to Die Hard” offers a bad time for all, as Bruce Willis takes his fifth shot at “shootin’ all the scumbags”?

Loud and tedious, “Die Hard” 5 is a shaky-cam/ Sensurround blast of bullets and bombs, digital explosions and death defying feats of defying death.

Not a decent villain or catchphrase in it, it’s an attempt to CIA-up the New York-cop-takes-on-the-world’s-terrorists franchise.

It doesn’t work.

Director John Moore (“Behind Enemy Lines”) spends an endless opening filled with no-names speaking Russian and laying out an elaborate scheme to nab/ kill or release a rich “political prisoner” (Sebastian Koch). Moore gave his cinematographer a Steadicam and a case of Red Bull, and shot the whole thing with a jittery frame that doesn’t mask how dull the action beats are, and how really dull the chatty father-son bonding scenes in-between the action beats are.

John McClane (Bruce Willis) is in Moscow to check up on a son (Jai Courtney of “Spartacus”) who’s in jail. Turns out the estranged son is CIA, and he’s on a mission. And dad, who’s “on vacation,” is interfering. Or saving the day, depending on your point of view.

The kid calls the old man by his first name.

“John? Whatever happened to ‘Dad’?”

“Yeah, whatever happened to him?”

They don’t get along.

“Need a hug?”

“We’re not really a hugging family.”

They crash through an epic Moscow traffic jam — which Moore & Co. shoot and edit into a jumble of crushed cars and feeble wisecracks from the villains — “Boy, dis guy iz really gettink on my nerves.”

They get into fights with helicopters. In the middle of the city. Not that local law enforcement notices.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle

Photos of the Week