Blake Richards wishes a message would flash across TV screens each night asking parents, "It's 10 p.m. Do you know what your children are doing on the computer?"
As technology advances and Internet social-networking sites explode in popularity, bullying has moved beyond schoolyards and locker rooms and into homes where kids sit behind computers spouting off insults through instant messages and spreading hurtful gossip on sites like MySpace.com.
As a result, "cyberbullying" has become a household term - and is one of the more challenging problems facing parents and educators today.
"A big problem is that 99 percent of this type of bullying happens outside of school hours," said Blake Richards, assistant principal at Londonderry Middle School. "Technically, it is out of our jurisdiction."
Parents, who long have been trained to beware of online sexual predators and credit card scams, may not realize they need to be concerned with hurtful online behavior between their children and their peers.
But, educators, experts and parents whose children have been victimized say, they most certainly do.
The Web as a weapon
Peter LaMonica, a computer forensics analyst for the U.S. Postal Inspection Service, founded BeNetSafe.org in 2004 to teach Internet safety. He has since added the topic of cyberbullying to his workshops.
"Years ago, you would meet a bully face to face," LaMonica said. "Now, the bully is unseen, and sometimes even unknown. Kids hop on to each other's screen names and send out messages."
LaMonica said a case involving a 13-year-old Vermont boy catapulted cyberbullying into the limelight in 2003.
Ryan Halligan of Essex Junction committed suicide in October that year. It was only after his death that his father logged onto the boy's America Online instant messaging account and the parents learned of Ryan's torment surrounding rumors he was a homosexual.
John Halligan discusses the tragedy on a Web site dedicated to Ryan's memory.
"I realized that technology was being utilized as weapons far more effective and far-reaching than the simple ones we had as kids," Halligan writes. "It's one thing to be bullied and humiliated in front of a few kids. But it has to be a totally different experience ... when these hurts and humiliations are now witnessed by a far larger, online audience."
As technology advances and Internet social-networking sites explode in popularity, bullying has moved beyond schoolyards and locker rooms and into homes where kids sit behind computers spouting off insults through instant messages and spreading hurtful gossip on sites like MySpace.com.
As a result, "cyberbullying" has become a household term - and is one of the more challenging problems facing parents and educators today.
"A big problem is that 99 percent of this type of bullying happens outside of school hours," said Blake Richards, assistant principal at Londonderry Middle School. "Technically, it is out of our jurisdiction."
Parents, who long have been trained to beware of online sexual predators and credit card scams, may not realize they need to be concerned with hurtful online behavior between their children and their peers.
But, educators, experts and parents whose children have been victimized say, they most certainly do.
The Web as a weapon
Peter LaMonica, a computer forensics analyst for the U.S. Postal Inspection Service, founded BeNetSafe.org in 2004 to teach Internet safety. He has since added the topic of cyberbullying to his workshops.
"Years ago, you would meet a bully face to face," LaMonica said. "Now, the bully is unseen, and sometimes even unknown. Kids hop on to each other's screen names and send out messages."
LaMonica said a case involving a 13-year-old Vermont boy catapulted cyberbullying into the limelight in 2003.
Ryan Halligan of Essex Junction committed suicide in October that year. It was only after his death that his father logged onto the boy's America Online instant messaging account and the parents learned of Ryan's torment surrounding rumors he was a homosexual.
John Halligan discusses the tragedy on a Web site dedicated to Ryan's memory.
"I realized that technology was being utilized as weapons far more effective and far-reaching than the simple ones we had as kids," Halligan writes. "It's one thing to be bullied and humiliated in front of a few kids. But it has to be a totally different experience ... when these hurts and humiliations are now witnessed by a far larger, online audience."
Richard Cram, director of the nonprofit Family Mediation Services in Atkinson, said because of its inherent anonymity and sheer reach, cyberbullying can rise to emergency levels very quickly.
"One kid may start a rumor that someone is sexually promiscuous or has a sexually transmitted disease, and it spreads overnight," he said. "Often the victim doesn't even know who started it."
Cram said as far as he's concerned, schools have no good system in place to stop this once it gets started.
"One girl told me that she hadn't been attending school, and she said it was because of a rumor spread about her online," Cram said.
Schools fighting back
Area educators concede that off-campus cyberbullying presents challenges in school. But, they say, there are things they can do.
For instance, if bullying continues at school - say a student alludes to threatening messages written from home, or a student brings a copy of the messages to school - educators can take action.
Haverhill Superintendent Raleigh Buchanan said students get a clear message that if they harass another student in school and extend the activity beyond school, they can still get in trouble.
"Sometimes a parent will report a group of kids who are causing harassment," Buchanan said. "We'll call the kids in and find out what's going on. If the bullying is occurring in school, as well, it's grounds for suspension."
Rick Irving, a social worker at Bancroft Elementary School in Andover, said he sees cyberbullying largely as a middle-school problem. And sadly, he said, adolescents are a most unlikely group to reach out for help.
"Kids feel so vulnerable about this type of attack, especially in middle school," he said. "They don't want to risk giving information to a parent or school counselor because they fear they might become a target and lose their peer group."
But, he said, for anyone to take action and help, it's important for the victim to come forward and print out the communications.
"I talked to one girl who said she had been harassed," he said. "When I asked her if she printed out the communication, she said no, because it was too disgusting."
Kimberlee Nutter, an early-childhood mental-health facilitator for the Methuen school district, set up a section of the district's Web site devoted to bullying, including cyberbullying. She also conducted a survey of seventh- and eight-graders in two of the district's middle schools.
In one test group of 75 seventh-graders, 55 thought cyberbullying was a major problem; five said they had harassed, stalked or bullied someone online; and 15 said they had been harassed, stalked or bullied.
One girl said she had been harassed and went to the principal but "nothing happened."
All school districts polled in the region require students to sign an acceptable-use form for school computers. They block social-networking sites, like MySpace. And they give students guidelines about repercussions if they break the rules.
"If a student bullied another student on a school computer, he or she may lose computer privileges for the school year," Richards said. "We have a very strong anti-bullying policy in the district, and cyberbullying would fall under that."
Is it a crime?
When concerned parents call Richards to ask advice on how to handle cyberbullying off school grounds, he tells them to call the police. And Londonderry police Capt. Bill Hart said that there have been some complaints from parents.
"When we get a call such as this, we make an assessment and determine the best course of action for each individual case," he said. "Sometimes we recommend counseling, and other times there will be police involvement. Most of the time, we try to involve the whole family and if appropriate, school personnel."
Salem, N.H., police Capt. Bill Ganley said he's seen more cases involving cyberbullying over the last couple of years.
"It's usually done after school hours," he said. " We'll let the school resource officers know of a situation if a parent calls. If there is criminal threatening, we'll investigate."
Daniel Genest a school resources officer at Woodbury Middle School in Salem, said sometimes a student will bring in an instant message log to prove he or she has been bullied.
"I'll look through four or five pages of IMs," he said. "Often the student isn't even a victim until the fifth page. I tell them that they can block this person from sending IMs, or just walk away from the computer."
Irving, from Andover's Bancroft Elementary School, said some kids go online and pretend to be friendly, asking personal questions that they can use against someone.
"The attractive thing about the Internet is that there is belief on the perpetrator's part that he or she is anonymous," Irving said. "Anonymity gives people the false courage to do the wrong thing."
But LaMonica, of BeNetSafe.org, said computer hardware makes it relatively easy to track down offenders, because most information is stored right on the computer.
"If there is a legal matter, we can go to the Internet server to obtain logs of e-mails, blogs and instant messages," he said.
Advice for parents
Irving said first and foremost, parents need to be vigilant of their child's computer use.
"One way is to gauge a child's mood after they've been on the computer for a while," Irving said. "They may be sad or they may make sideways comments that can alert the parent. The kid may be a victim or an instigator."
LaMonica advises parents to know their child's passwords. That way, he said, "if something should happen, they can go on the computer and see what's going on right away."
Keeping the computer in a high-traffic area of the home, like the family room, helps raise parental awareness, LaMonica added.
"The worst place is in the child's room," he said.
Genest, the resource officer in Salem, said he knows of one parent who actually unplugs the keyboard and takes it to her bedroom at night so her children won't be online without supervision.
Cram, of Atkinson, said he has offered seminars on cyberbullying for parents. But they are not well attended.
"They're either too busy, or have their head in the sand," he said. "They need to begin to become parents again and take charge - not be friends to their children."
BOXES
What is cyberbullying?
* Sending cruel, vicious, and sometimes threatening messages..
* Creating Web sites that have stories, cartoons, pictures, and jokes ridiculing others..
* Posting pictures of classmates online and asking students to rate them, with questions such as "Who is the biggest ... (add a derogatory term)?"
* Breaking into an e-mail account and sending vicious or embarrassing material to others.
* Engaging someone in instant messaging, tricking that person into revealing sensitive personal information and forwarding that information to others.
* Taking a picture of a person in the locker room using a digital phone camera and sending that picture to others.
Source: cyberbully.org
What's a parent to do?
* Save the evidence.
* Block communications from the cyberbully.
* File a complaint with the Internet or cell phone company.
* Seek assistance from the school, but be aware that since it takes place off-campus, your school may only be able to provide informal assistance.
* Send the cyberbully's parents a certified letter that includes the evidence and demand that it be stopped.
* Contact an attorney to send a letter or file a lawsuit against the parents based on defamation, invasion of privacy or intentional infliction of emotional stress.
* Call the police if the cyberbullying involves threats of violence, coercion, intimidation based on hate or bias and any form of sexual exploitation.
Source: cyberbully.org
MySpace.com instructions for reporting abuse
* Click on "Contact MySpace" at the bottom of the home page, MySpace.com.
* Select "Reporting Abuse" from the first drop-down menu.
* Select "Report Cyberbullying" in the second drop-down menu and follow directions.
BeNetSafe.org presentations by Peter LaMonica
What: Discussions on Internet safety, cyber predators, cyberbullying and identity theft.
Where: Windham Middle School cafeteria, 112 Lowell Road, Windham
When: 7 to 9 p.m. Thursday
Cost: Free, sponsored by the Windham Middle School PTA
AND
What: Discussions on Internet safety, cyber predators, cyberbullying and identity theft
Where: Londonderry Middle School cafeteria, 313 Mammoth Road, Londonderry
When: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. April 16
Cost: Free, sponsored by the Londonderry Women's Club
