EagleTribune.com, North Andover, MA


December 15, 2013

D.C. jabs, quotes of 2013 will make you wince

WASHINGTON — This is the slightly twisted time of year when we look back with fondness, horror, disbelief and no little amount of wincing to review what came out of the mouths of our politicians since January.

Our pols are as irrepressible as ever.

After House Republicans shut down the federal government for 16 days, costing the economy at least $25 billion, some couldn’t stop boasting.

Congresswoman Michele Bachman, R-Minn., exulted, “We’re very excited. It’s exactly what we wanted, and we got it.”

Congressman Marlin Stutzman, R-Ind., said of the shutdown, “We’re not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this. And I don’t know what that even is.”

Not to worry, Congressman. Nobody does.

Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., struggled to assess the shutdown. “Suddenly you take a stone from the ground and bash your head in. Honest to God, that’s what they’ve done, these Republicans. They’ve bashed the head of America on a beautiful day.”

All year, politicians argued about immigration reform, trying to figure out how to treat America’s 11 million undocumented workers.

Congressman Steve King, R-Iowa, gained no Hispanic votes after saying of immigrants, “For every one who’s a valedictorian, there’s another 100 out there who weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

Congressman Don Young, R-Alaska, observed, “My father had a ranch. We used to hire 50 to 60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes.”

State laws legalizing same-sex marriage were approved by the Supreme Court.

Congressman Tim Walberg, R-Mich., was devastated. “Society itself is at risk and cannot continue,” he mourned.

President Barack Obama, whose ratings plummeted after the botched rollout of his health care plan, tried to remain above the fray but couldn’t resist jabbing opponents.

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