EagleTribune.com, North Andover, MA

November 7, 2012

Letter: Feeling blue in the bluest state

The Eagle-Tribune

---- — To the editor:

The election results have left me in a colored funk. I tried listening to music to cheer myself up but all I got was bluer. First came “Blue” by LeAnn Rimes followed by “Love is Blue” (Paul Mauriat) and then “Blue on Blue” by Bobby Vinton. My hope had been to listen to Taylor Swift’s new CD titled “Red” but was told by my ISP that it was not allowed in Massachusetts.

I switched to sports talk and heard that Celtics green was out as it represented a minority party and was not part of the states’ color scheme. The Red Sox were only allowed to stay as is because their hats were blue with only a red letter B. It made me think it was a good thing my house is painted blue and I replaced my red car, destroyed in an accident, with a blue one. Come to think of it, the vehicle that destroyed my red car was blue — true story.

Now the state can save money by selling the gold leaf on the Statehouse and painting it blue. May as well show what it truly is and get a little free notoriety.

If I ever hear a complaint from any voter about what these elected bums have done in the future, my answer is that there is a reason why other states have two-party systems.

Finally, why don’t we just change the name of the state to “Smurfachusetts”? With all the little blue people running around here that we elect, we may as well be up-front as to why we are what we are. Smurfachusetts — the bluest state in the nation. May God have mercy on us for what we do!

Ralph Prolman